The Truth Shall Set You Free...(And Possibly Leave You Permanently Single!)

It has long been held that all most women really want is a guy who can love them for who they are, give them mind-blowing sex and be completely honest with them. Throw in a few movie nights watching chick flicks and the ability to cook a half-decent meal (without using a microwave), and you, my man, are GOLDEN! Or so we would like to think.

You see, the problem is that the truth almost always ends up getting in the way. It doesn’t matter that “complete honesty” is one of the most requested attributes. And it doesn’t matter that you were just trying to be a good little honest boyfriend by answering “Yes, babe, I do wish you had an ass like hers but yours is pretty nice too”. Or “Of course I would have talked to your sister had I met her first. She’s freakin’ gorgeous!” I mean, after all, isn’t the point of asking a question to get a truthful answer?

Well as you might be surprised to discover, rarely is a woman looking for a truthful response when she asks most questions. Especially questions involving your possible attraction to another woman, questions involving their weight, or a myriad of other questions they sit around cooking up. How do I know, you ask? Ummmm…Let’s just say that experience is a very enduring teacher and leave it at that. Capisce?

So then the question begs, what the hell are they looking for?? As it turns out, what they are looking for is their very own fairytale, happy endings and all...(and, unfortunately enough, I'm not talking about the kind of happy endings most of us guys prefer either). They want the Prince Charming that their mothers told them they would find one day. In essence, they’re looking for that guy who only has eyes for her. After all, if you are her very own Prince Charming, you wouldn’t even notice another woman well enough to be able to answer a question about her. Or so her reasoning likes to go.

Basically in laymen’s terms, she wants you to sell her a dream. She wants you to make true all of the wonderful fantasies she was told and dreamed about as a little girl. But the inherent problem with the selling of that dream is that at some point we’re going to fall short. There is simply no way to avoid it. Prince Charming is without flaw because he is an imaginary character, while we on the other hand are simply human. And in being human, we are imperfect. Sorry, fellas. That’s just the way it is.  

So then what are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to respond in a situation like that? Do we drop everything and run for cover? Do we sit there and close our eyes, cover our ears with our hands and start reciting our favorite rap song at the top of our lungs? Unfortunately, none those options work very well...(Don't bother asking how I know this one either, just trust me)...Guys, the solution is actually rather simple…YOU LIE! You lie like there is no tomorrow. Like there isn’t any other place you’d rather be, or any other woman you’d rather be with. You lie like your relationship and your life depend on it…because more times than not, quite frankly, they do.

Now this doesn’t mean you’re supposed to just go runnin' ‘round, lyin' all willy-nilly. On the contrary, most women can smell the bullshit coming from a mile away, whether we’d like to believe it or not. But what you do do is you give her just enough of a lie to comfort her and make her feel secure. You give her just enough of a lie so that she is able to continue believing in fairytales. You be her Prince Charming…If only for one day…If only for one question.

But then again, what do I know? I’m just a guy with an opinion and a laptop, and these are...

...JUST MY OBSERVATIONS