The Nose-Pickin', Bearded White Dude...

Knowing me as well as some of you do, I'm sure most of you guys are preparing yourselves to hear about a confrontation or something between this dude and I. However that couldn't be further from the truth. Actually our interaction was very brief but it was one of those moments that stick with you for a lifetime. Sometimes I've actually wondered if maybe he was angel sent here to open my eyes and show me something.

Initially I didn't put much thought into out brief meeting, but for some reason I was just never able to let it go as I have with the thousands of other odd, yet seemingly unimportant occurrences and events I've experienced. Every so often I would think back to our meeting and be able to recall it with startling clarity and detail. Eventually I took this to mean that our meeting had to be more than just happenstance. There had to be an important reason as to why he has continuously manifested himself in my thoughts...even though it has been years since we had crossed each other's paths.

After some recent deep and analytical thinking, I believe I have it figured out to some degree. And believe it or not, I believe all of you guys have seen or met him before. Actually some of you probably know him a lot better than I do. A lot better than you'd really like to, I'm willing to bet.

But before I get into all of that, let me explain how we met...

It was early one morning during rush hour traffic. I was on my way to Warner Bros. studios in Burbank. This was back when I was still doing background work on tv and in films, so that might clue some of you into just how long ago this was. Anyway, I was on the 110 North and grumbling about all of the stop-and-go traffic. I  had just passed the Florence exit and was coming up on Vernon. I was in the fast lane...(a misnomer if ever there was one)...and had just leaned my head back against my headrest and let out an extremely loud expletive in frustration. Something along the lines of "FUCK!!!", if I remember correctly.

As I pick my head up off of my headrest, I look over, two lanes to my right and see this white dude in a beat up blue pickup truck with a shell over the back of it. This dude had one of the dirtiest, nappiest looking beards I had ever seen! It was really bushy and bright red. But that wasn't the worst of it! The dude was fist-deep in his nose diggin' for gold! I mean, he was 100% focused on his task. 

The weird part is when he looked over at me looking over at him, he didn't pause or show even the slightest hint of embarrassment. If I was going to venture a guess I would say he had more of a look of satisfaction than anything else. 

So as I'm looking at him, I start laughing. And as I do that, he gets this strange look on his face. It looked sort of like the way you look at someone when you feel sorry for them. It was really out of place, given the situation, and it stopped me cold. Mid-laugh...

And it was just in time, too. Because as I turned around to get back to minding my own business, I was about to rear-end the Mercedes in front of me. I had just enough time and space to slam on my brakes and skid about three feet without crashing. I was inches from totaling my car and the Benz! I couldn't stop my hands from shaking, I was so scared.

And as I look back over at the The Nose-Pickin', Bearded White Dude...he was nowhere to be found. I looked up and down the freeway for him, and didn't see him anywhere. Where he went, I don't know. All I know is just seconds ago he was two lanes over in rush hour traffic and the next he was gone.

Now without getting all mystical and religi-fied on you guys, I will say this:

I think his purpose may have been to teach me that there will be many things and situations that can lead you astray by getting you to misplace your focus. It has taken me quite awhile to come to this conclusion but I feel comfortable in my belief that this was the reason for our paths crossing that day. I really do believe this.

Soooooooooo, how does this relate to you, you ask? Well I believe this guy has shown his face in one form or another in each of your lives. If we all think about it, we can point out several instances where he has popped up. Some of them are probably very obvious, while others might require a bit more thought. Whether it's the party that you thought about going to instead of studying or the chick with the nice ass that has you thinking about stepping out on your relationship, The Nose-Pickin', Bearded White Dude is there...lurking and beckoning you. And if you aren't careful, he can cause you to totally wreck everything. You just gotta stay focused.


...JUST MY OBSERVATIONS