Actions and Those Pesky (and Oftentimes Unforeseen) Reactions
Looking at my last post, I see it has been quite some time since my last entry. Please forgive me for that. The saying, "sometimes life can get in the way" is as real as it gets. That being said, I promise I'm going to try and do better. So just bear with me, por favor.
Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to the nitty-gritty...
In everything we do, there are consequences, reactions and/or effects. Some of us have to learn this the hard way. And though it's not always a bad thing, it ain't always a good thing either, as I have personally had to bear witness. As I prepare to share my personal experience, there is currently only one person who I have told this story to. Suffice to say, they thought it was absolutely, disgustingly hilarious. Now that I'm removed from the situation, I can laugh at it too. But it wasn't funny to me in the least at the time. Here goes nothing...
First, let me preface this by saying that being born with a d**k (of a nice size, I don't mind saying) is both a blessing and a curse. However, for the sake of this story, I'm going to focus on one of its blessings. Which blessing is that, you ask? Simple. Men...and the occasional hermaphrodite, I suppose...are blessed with being able to make any place or container into our own personal little bathroom. No toilet in sight? No problemo. Give me a thirsty bush, a bottle, or a cozy little corner and I'm good to go. Hell, I don't even need any of those if the situation reaches critical proportions. I just turn my back to any potential looky-loos and let 'er rip. Then shake, shake and put it away. Crisis averted.
Well one day, facing one of these very crises, I had to pull over and put my empty Starbucks cup to use. Damn near filled it to the top, too! And let me tell you something, ain't NO better feeling than the emptying of a full bladder. Literally gave me goosebumps...but I digress. So after I put away my "blessing", I place the lid on my cup, sit it in my cupholder, and drive home without further incident.
The next morning, I get in my car and see that I forgot to throw the damn cup away... Alas, as you shall see shortly, that absentmindedness would prove to be my undoing... So thinking that I better get rid of it quickly before it starts to stink up my car, or worse, it topples over and spills, I pull over to a Starbucks (coincidentally enough) to throw it away. I get out of my car and walk over to the trashcan. As I drop it in the trash, I am immediately hit square in the face with an eruption of my own piss! And I'm not talking about a few drops. Or even a light misting. I mean the shit was literally dripping off of my damn face! I WAS PISSED! No pun intended. I ended up having to go back home to wash up and change clothes because the upper part of my t-shirt was soaked.
What happened was, as misfortune should have it, the trashcan was completely empty. And with this being the case, my cup hit flat on the bottom, causing the contents of my portable bathroom to shoot mile high while I stood squarely within ground zero of its blast radius.
As I stated before, though I found absolutely zero humor in it initially, I can laugh about it now. And even as crazy as it may sound, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise because it caused me to sit and think about the meaning in it. Now, don't get it misconstrued, I prefer my lessons minus being hit in the face with my own piss...but hey, lemons into lemonade, right?
Anyway, here's the moral of the story: Be wary of the way in which you present yourself to the world because sometimes what you put forth has a way of coming back and smacking you in the face. Quite literally sometimes.
But then again, what do I know? I'm just a guy with an opinion and a laptop, and these are...
JUST MY OBSERVATIONS
Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to the nitty-gritty...
In everything we do, there are consequences, reactions and/or effects. Some of us have to learn this the hard way. And though it's not always a bad thing, it ain't always a good thing either, as I have personally had to bear witness. As I prepare to share my personal experience, there is currently only one person who I have told this story to. Suffice to say, they thought it was absolutely, disgustingly hilarious. Now that I'm removed from the situation, I can laugh at it too. But it wasn't funny to me in the least at the time. Here goes nothing...
First, let me preface this by saying that being born with a d**k (of a nice size, I don't mind saying) is both a blessing and a curse. However, for the sake of this story, I'm going to focus on one of its blessings. Which blessing is that, you ask? Simple. Men...and the occasional hermaphrodite, I suppose...are blessed with being able to make any place or container into our own personal little bathroom. No toilet in sight? No problemo. Give me a thirsty bush, a bottle, or a cozy little corner and I'm good to go. Hell, I don't even need any of those if the situation reaches critical proportions. I just turn my back to any potential looky-loos and let 'er rip. Then shake, shake and put it away. Crisis averted.
Well one day, facing one of these very crises, I had to pull over and put my empty Starbucks cup to use. Damn near filled it to the top, too! And let me tell you something, ain't NO better feeling than the emptying of a full bladder. Literally gave me goosebumps...but I digress. So after I put away my "blessing", I place the lid on my cup, sit it in my cupholder, and drive home without further incident.
The next morning, I get in my car and see that I forgot to throw the damn cup away... Alas, as you shall see shortly, that absentmindedness would prove to be my undoing... So thinking that I better get rid of it quickly before it starts to stink up my car, or worse, it topples over and spills, I pull over to a Starbucks (coincidentally enough) to throw it away. I get out of my car and walk over to the trashcan. As I drop it in the trash, I am immediately hit square in the face with an eruption of my own piss! And I'm not talking about a few drops. Or even a light misting. I mean the shit was literally dripping off of my damn face! I WAS PISSED! No pun intended. I ended up having to go back home to wash up and change clothes because the upper part of my t-shirt was soaked.
What happened was, as misfortune should have it, the trashcan was completely empty. And with this being the case, my cup hit flat on the bottom, causing the contents of my portable bathroom to shoot mile high while I stood squarely within ground zero of its blast radius.
As I stated before, though I found absolutely zero humor in it initially, I can laugh about it now. And even as crazy as it may sound, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise because it caused me to sit and think about the meaning in it. Now, don't get it misconstrued, I prefer my lessons minus being hit in the face with my own piss...but hey, lemons into lemonade, right?
Anyway, here's the moral of the story: Be wary of the way in which you present yourself to the world because sometimes what you put forth has a way of coming back and smacking you in the face. Quite literally sometimes.
But then again, what do I know? I'm just a guy with an opinion and a laptop, and these are...
JUST MY OBSERVATIONS
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