Thursday, February 26, 2015

The Truth Shall Set You Free...(And Possibly Leave You Permanently Single!)

It has long been held that all most women really want is a guy who can love them for who they are, give them mind-blowing sex and be completely honest with them. Throw in a few movie nights watching chick flicks and the ability to cook a half-decent meal (without using a microwave), and you, my man, are GOLDEN! Or so we would like to think.

You see, the problem is that the truth almost always ends up getting in the way. It doesn’t matter that “complete honesty” is one of the most requested attributes. And it doesn’t matter that you were just trying to be a good little honest boyfriend by answering “Yes, babe, I do wish you had an ass like hers but yours is pretty nice too”. Or “Of course I would have talked to your sister had I met her first. She’s freakin’ gorgeous!” I mean, after all, isn’t the point of asking a question to get a truthful answer?

Well as you might be surprised to discover, rarely is a woman looking for a truthful response when she asks most questions. Especially questions involving your possible attraction to another woman, questions involving their weight, or a myriad of other questions they sit around cooking up. How do I know, you ask? Ummmm…Let’s just say that experience is a very enduring teacher and leave it at that. Capisce?

So then the question begs, what the hell are they looking for?? As it turns out, what they are looking for is their very own fairytale, happy endings and all...(and, unfortunately enough, I'm not talking about the kind of happy endings most of us guys prefer either). They want the Prince Charming that their mothers told them they would find one day. In essence, they’re looking for that guy who only has eyes for her. After all, if you are her very own Prince Charming, you wouldn’t even notice another woman well enough to be able to answer a question about her. Or so her reasoning likes to go.

Basically in laymen’s terms, she wants you to sell her a dream. She wants you to make true all of the wonderful fantasies she was told and dreamed about as a little girl. But the inherent problem with the selling of that dream is that at some point we’re going to fall short. There is simply no way to avoid it. Prince Charming is without flaw because he is an imaginary character, while we on the other hand are simply human. And in being human, we are imperfect. Sorry, fellas. That’s just the way it is.  

So then what are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to respond in a situation like that? Do we drop everything and run for cover? Do we sit there and close our eyes, cover our ears with our hands and start reciting our favorite rap song at the top of our lungs? Unfortunately, none those options work very well...(Don't bother asking how I know this one either, just trust me)...Guys, the solution is actually rather simple…YOU LIE! You lie like there is no tomorrow. Like there isn’t any other place you’d rather be, or any other woman you’d rather be with. You lie like your relationship and your life depend on it…because more times than not, quite frankly, they do.

Now this doesn’t mean you’re supposed to just go runnin' ‘round, lyin' all willy-nilly. On the contrary, most women can smell the bullshit coming from a mile away, whether we’d like to believe it or not. But what you do do is you give her just enough of a lie to comfort her and make her feel secure. You give her just enough of a lie so that she is able to continue believing in fairytales. You be her Prince Charming…If only for one day…If only for one question.

But then again, what do I know? I’m just a guy with an opinion and a laptop, and these are...


Saturday, August 18, 2012

The Nose-Pickin', Bearded White Dude...

Knowing me as well as some of you do, I'm sure most of you guys are preparing yourselves to hear about a confrontation or something between this dude and I. However that couldn't be further from the truth. Actually our interaction was very brief but it was one of those moments that stick with you for a lifetime. Sometimes I've actually wondered if maybe he was angel sent here to open my eyes and show me something.

Initially I didn't put much thought into out brief meeting, but for some reason I was just never able to let it go as I have with the thousands of other odd, yet seemingly unimportant occurrences and events I've experienced. Every so often I would think back to our meeting and be able to recall it with startling clarity and detail. Eventually I took this to mean that our meeting had to be more than just happenstance. There had to be an important reason as to why he has continuously manifested himself in my thoughts...even though it has been years since we had crossed each other's paths.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Stop Trying To "Think Like A Man"...And Simply THINK!

I don't even know where to start with this one but let me get my disclaimer out of the way: I haven't read Steve Harvey's book, nor do I plan to. I have, however, seen the movie. So for the sake of argument I'm going to assume that the movie says the same thing that the book does. So as I make reference to the book, understand that I'm speaking from the perspective of what the movie showed me.

Now with THAT being said, let me also say this: Anyone who bought that book for anything other than recreational reading, needs to go out and start their car, put their mouth around its tailpipe, proceed to inhale deeply and begin toward the light...Go on. It'll be ok. I promise...

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number...

I know there are going to be plenty of you guys ("guys" meaning women, for the most that are going to strongly disagree with what I'm about to say, which is fine. What's funny though is that a lot of you who are going to disagree have been the most egregious examples as to why I believe AGE AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A NUMBER when it comes to matters of the heart.

What I mean by that is it doesn't matter whether we're dealing with a younger woman or an older woman, we often have to go through a good deal of the same sh*t! Complaints about not communicating enough or not being affectionate enough? Check. Insecure and whiny? Check. Saying one thing but meaning another? Creating problems when there are none? Wanting and coercing their man to change? Check. Check. And check!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Dumber By The Day...

i wanna speek 2 u guyz about a epidimik dat iz swepin duh nayshun: duh abilitee to rite an/or tipe a compleet n grummaticly koreck sentens...

Ok, I'm done writing in gibberish. But I just wanted to give you guys a visual of the type of nonsense that drives me crazy and contributes to the dumming dumbing down of today's youth. However first let me say this: If you were able to read through that first sentence without so much as a pause, I don't know whether to consider you bilingually-gifted, an idiot savant or simply a prime example for today's blog. (Though to be honest, I'd definitely be leaning towards the ladder latter...I'm jus' sayin'...).

Sunday, May 20, 2012

A Brief Explanation...

The three posts before this one are posts that I copied and pasted from my old blog. The reason I did this is because it had been so long since I had visited that blog that I forgot all of my passwords and account info. Hence, it was just easier to create another. Lesson learned. Trust me. :-)

So walk along with me on this journey of open and honest dialogue...


What A Girl Really Wants...

I often hear women complaining about the lack of good men. But honestly, is that really the case? I think it's debatable. I personally know of a lot of good guys that are interested in being in loving and serious relationships. The problem is the women that they come across say they want one thing but their actions speak differently. 

Women are quick to say how they want a nice guy with a cool job, goals, can hold an intelligent conversation and knows how to "keep it real". When asked about looks, these same women usually respond "looks aren't really all that important to me." However, when they come across this type of guy, they don't know how to appreciate a good thing. They're often more concerned with what their friends and their friends' boyfriends are doing